Study shows that FWB isn't bad for you

[Dark Phoenix Rising]

No, however the fun can be the driving force behind doing the activity in question - at that point it doesn't matter why we find the activity fun unless something changes that means that it's no longer fun.

Sometimes looking too closely at something means that you've destroyed it. After all, observing something changes it.

[Elliot Kane]

The fun is not the driving force. The underlying reason why an activity is fun to the participant is the driving force. Just because the person is ignorant of their true reasons doesn't mean those reasons do not exist.

When it comes to fun, though, I will have to agree that ignorance often IS bliss!

[Dark Phoenix Rising]

Erm, I disagree - otherwise people wouldn't keep doing activities that they know are bad for them, wrong, or destructive just because they were fun. The fact that it's fun is often more than reason enough to do these activities.

If you're looking for why they tried the activity in the first place... Well that's a whole 'nother ball game, and can range from "I have a philosophy to try everything at least twice" to peer pressure, to it was accidental.

But the stimulus for actually doing it subsequent to finding it to be fun, may just be that it's fun. (take a child playing with a ball, there is probably no other reason for them to be playing with the ball than it's fun)

[Ubereil]

I think Elliot is trying to say that "it's fun" isn't the root. X is fun. Why is it fun? Well, it's because of Y. Then it is Y that is the real reason, not that it's fun.

Not that I see how this is relevant to FWB's. FWB's are fun, for one reason or another, why does that reason matter?

Übereil

[Dark Phoenix Rising]

Erm, see my example about the child with the ball. The child plays with the ball because it's fun, as soon as it's no longer fun they stop playing. They may also play with the ball when their bored, and then stop when something interesting comes along, but when they're playing because it's fun there is often no other reason than "it's fun". It may not even be possible to break it down beyond it's fun, or I like it.

Also remember that fun something that's fun triggers the release of happy chemicals in the brain, and the brain can be trained to release those chemicals in response to specific stimulus (though it's much harder to do than training it to release the fear based chemicals)

[Elliot Kane]

I think Elliot is trying to say that "it's fun" isn't the root. X is fun. Why is it fun? Well, it's because of Y. Then it is Y that is the real reason, not that it's fun.

Ube is correct.

Your example of the child with the ball ignores the child's actual reason for the reason it is capable of comprehending, DPR. Which is not the same thing at all.

Have you never done something that used to be fun for you only to find it isn't now? The activity itself has not changed, but the reason WHY it was fun no longer applies, so it is no longer fun.

It is ALWAYS possible to break something down beyond 'it's fun' or 'I like it'. You may not understand the why, but that does not mean it does not exist.

[Terrordar]

The Hippies were the same idea largely with the 'free love' crap. People eventually pair off, its just how it goes. People get jealous.

[kitty]

They only get jealous when they form relationships beyond friendship - and Hippies did not go into their free love ideas with friends but with random people (or whoever lived in their commune) without formerly setting the rules for what this is what they are doing. Alone the fact that they called it "free love" and did it regardless of what might come of it (actual love, children) means they didn't have FWB, they had, well, too much time on their hands.

(and the coolest hairstyles EVER!)

[kitty]

Oh and to the fun topic - when one wakes up in the morning and is in a good mood, then he is simply happy. No reason (other then a good hormone flow or the like), there's no cause of that, it just is until it gets destroyed - for example from people who must kill every topic by looking behind doors where there are no walls to hold em...

[Elliot Kane]

There's always a reason, Kit, even for 'waking up happy'. Sometimes it's a good dream, sometimes it's anticipation for the day or a carry over from the day before. But there's always something.

I like looking behind the doors, you prefer not to see them. Which is fair enough. We each have our own reasons for that, too

[Dark Phoenix Rising]

Erm, and sometimes it is just because you woke up happy, i.e. you didn't get a good nights sleep, your cat was sick, and your out of cereal, but something just goes "spoing" in your head, and you are happy for no discernible reason.

---

And yes, sometimes I have done things that used to be fun, and no longer find them fun but that's not because the activities have changed, but because I have changed, and grown and no longer find them fun. But equally there are some things that I still find fun even though I'm now an "adult". And equally there are some things that I've done that I don't normally find fun, but for no apparent reason occasionally they are fun.

[Ubereil]

Why are you discussing this again?

Übereil

[Dark Phoenix Rising]

cos atm I'm enjoying the debate

[Elliot Kane]

Just because you don't know what the reason is, DPR, doesn't mean there isn't one. We used to think stuff just stuck to the earth without rhyme or reason until we discovered gravity. Same could be said for almost everything else in the natural world.

The reason for humans feeling happy can be emotional, psychological or chemical (And that doesn't always mean vast doses of illegal herbiage, BTW).

There are a whole host of reasons why we get up in the morning (And a whole host more why we go to sleep at night) but we don't sit and work them all out. We just get up, do what we do, proceed with our lives. That doesn't mean those reasons do not exist.

And yes, sometimes I have done things that used to be fun, and no longer find them fun but that's not because the activities have changed, but because I have changed, and grown and no longer find them fun. But equally there are some things that I still find fun even though I'm now an "adult". And equally there are some things that I've done that I don't normally find fun, but for no apparent reason occasionally they are fun.

Well if the activity has not changed at all but your response is varied - whether by time or other factors - would that not indicate that 'fun' is indeed a product of other factors, as I have said, rather than a thing that exists unto itself?

[Dark Phoenix Rising]

OK, I guess the main question that needs to be asked at this point is "What is fun?".

After all, without nailing down what it actually is, you can't say with any degree of certainty that it will, won't, or even has to have a cause.

[Elliot Kane]

I'd say a fair definition of 'fun' was: any pleasurable activity. Doesn't matter if it's harmful or otherwise, as long as the person engaging in the activity enjoys it. 'Fun' is a subjective thing, as what constitutes 'fun' to one person may not do so to others. 'Fun' may be unilateral or shared with others.

Sound reasonable?

[kitty]

Fun is when you get enough happy-making hormones rushing through your brain. That is, when you so desperatly need a reason, the reason for fun, nothing else.

But to the topic... we all found out FWB are not for everyone but they aren't the devil impersonated either - so like - surprise! - everything, it's whatever you make of it.

[Elliot Kane]

Actually, I think the main thing I learned from the topic itself is that the only person on Chaos who ever thoroughly reads articles is Zee. The rest of us were treating it seriously, which is frankly embarrassing in retrospect...

[Glance A'Lot]

...that the only person on Chaos who ever thoroughly reads articles...

How about limiting this to those partaking in the discussion?
Just as a matter of principle...

[Elliot Kane]

Conceded! (And I knew you'd protest that one, Glance! ;D)