Post by twoheadedragon on Jul 25, 2009 7:39:07 GMT
(NOTE: this is a few years old)
Scripture updated
By Richard Ostling, Associated Press
"There was no room for them in the inn," says the famous Christmas reading from Luke.
Now, try this variation: "Crisis! ‘No vacancy' signs in every B&B window."
That's a sample from "The Word on the Street," a slang-ridden paraphrase of Old and New Testament passages by Britain's Rob Lacey, who's trying to make the Scriptures more interesting to modern Brits.
Some famous old Revised Standard Version phrases compared with new Lacey Britishisms:
Creation (Genesis 1:31). Old: "God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." New: "Fantastic. I love it!"
Eve (Genesis 2:23). Old: "Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.'" New: "Whoa! Now we're talking!"
The First Commandment (Exodus 20:3). Old: "You shall have no other gods before Me." New: "I'm it, the only God! No other god's worth squat."
Proverbs 6:6. Old: "Go to the ant, O sluggard." New: "Look at an ant, you couch potato."
Ecclesiastes 1:2. Old: "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity." New: "What's the point?! What IS the point?!"
God's reply from the whirlwind (Job 38:2). Old: "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?" New: "Who d'you think you are?"
Jesus' parting words (Matthew 28:20). Old: "And lo, I am with you always." New: "I'm with you 24/7/52."
Jesus' Second Coming (Revelation 1:7). Old: "Behold, He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him." New: "Look up! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a computer game gone 3D? No it's HIM, surfing the clouds, full orbit so everyone gets to see."
Scripture updated
By Richard Ostling, Associated Press
"There was no room for them in the inn," says the famous Christmas reading from Luke.
Now, try this variation: "Crisis! ‘No vacancy' signs in every B&B window."
That's a sample from "The Word on the Street," a slang-ridden paraphrase of Old and New Testament passages by Britain's Rob Lacey, who's trying to make the Scriptures more interesting to modern Brits.
Some famous old Revised Standard Version phrases compared with new Lacey Britishisms:
Creation (Genesis 1:31). Old: "God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." New: "Fantastic. I love it!"
Eve (Genesis 2:23). Old: "Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.'" New: "Whoa! Now we're talking!"
The First Commandment (Exodus 20:3). Old: "You shall have no other gods before Me." New: "I'm it, the only God! No other god's worth squat."
Proverbs 6:6. Old: "Go to the ant, O sluggard." New: "Look at an ant, you couch potato."
Ecclesiastes 1:2. Old: "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity." New: "What's the point?! What IS the point?!"
God's reply from the whirlwind (Job 38:2). Old: "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?" New: "Who d'you think you are?"
Jesus' parting words (Matthew 28:20). Old: "And lo, I am with you always." New: "I'm with you 24/7/52."
Jesus' Second Coming (Revelation 1:7). Old: "Behold, He is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see Him." New: "Look up! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a computer game gone 3D? No it's HIM, surfing the clouds, full orbit so everyone gets to see."
