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Post by Hand-E-Food on Aug 13, 2009 23:26:54 GMT
That's cool!  |
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Post by Ubereil on Aug 30, 2009 17:29:24 GMT
Übereil
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Post by Galadriel on Sept 3, 2009 21:07:08 GMT
MOMS IN GROUP THERAPY
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.
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A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the
kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is
two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN! ;D
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Post by Ubereil on Sept 6, 2009 17:43:57 GMT
I've just found Peter's theme song!
Übereil
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Post by Alrik on Sept 19, 2009 16:29:51 GMT
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Post by Galadriel on Sept 24, 2009 21:14:18 GMT
I've just found Peter's theme song! Übereil 
Btw, did someone noticed the irony of the dating commercial right next to that video?  ;D
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Post by Hildor on Sept 25, 2009 8:04:47 GMT
If you use an addon like Adblock Plus on Firefox (both free) you won't notice any commercials at all here on chaos It really helps. |
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Post by Ubereil on Oct 4, 2009 9:09:26 GMT
Übereil
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Post by Galadriel on Oct 7, 2009 0:28:01 GMT
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Post by Galadriel on Oct 7, 2009 0:29:20 GMT
But he wasn't too specific about it
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Post by Hand-E-Food on Oct 7, 2009 1:52:51 GMT
That's gold, Gal! ;D
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Post by Ubereil on Oct 24, 2009 15:07:34 GMT
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Post by twoheadedragon on Oct 25, 2009 19:24:04 GMT
LOL, good stuff Ube!  |
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Post by Galadriel on Jan 4, 2010 18:38:45 GMT
You remember an orc named Jurak right? Well, he's probably too busy making love to his girlfriend, fishing and sending funny emails, so in order to keep him remembered, here's one I just got from him...
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5000.
The husband thought about it and told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home.
The undertaker asked him, "why would you spend $5000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here, and it would only cost $150? "
The husband replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just cant take that chance!"
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Post by LaFille on Jan 18, 2010 17:40:37 GMT
Bad translation of an hospital sign  |
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Post by ss on Feb 27, 2010 21:59:46 GMT
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her pupils put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet. He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.' She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so? ' like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear 'em.' Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?' He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.' She will be eligible for parole in three years.
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Post by Ubereil on Apr 14, 2010 7:22:15 GMT
 Übereil |
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Post by Dark Phoenix Rising on Apr 14, 2010 8:40:28 GMT
Übereil This picture doesn't exist |
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Post by Ubereil on Apr 14, 2010 8:46:34 GMT
It's been removed from the original web page too...   Übereil |
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Post by Ubereil on May 1, 2010 18:15:39 GMT
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;D
"
