Awakening: Characters Out of Character

[nights]

*Leim drags in a folding chair and sits in the middle of the stage and jumps in to it.*

“Hello all and welcome to the opening of Awakening: Characters Out of Character!” he claps his hands as if expecting someone to join him and nothing happens but crickets.

“Guess we don’t have the applause thing ready..” Leim coughs.

“Well the first post will be me reading some of the fan mail I receive since I join!” he smiled.

“Its hard being the most beloved character on the boards but I try to stay the humble and level headed ninja I been since I join the cast.” a giant hot tub wheels behind him as he says all this. “You can just put that in my dressing room..” he says pointing off stage.

“Anyways lets start this bad boy up..” open a letter. “First Letter is From Kim Nooat from New Jersey its says.”

Dear Leim,

Why do you always yell and cuss at the other characters ? I like all of them but you! You’re so mean! I hope Elliot kills you off! Stel rules!

Hate You

Kim

Leim looks at letter and then looks off stage. “Well… what can I say that wont get my creator kick of the boards?”

Voice from off stage. “Not much go to another letter..”

Leim looks straight ahead. “I need a spam filter..”

“Okay next letter from Calvin Diggers from Denver!” he smiles.

Dear Leim

Why the hell is Stel stalking you in the hallway? Why didn’t he come in when Ash scream? Does he have a fetish for young blond boys?

L&A Forever
Calvin

“Good question Calvin! I hope he doesn’t have a thing for me cause that would violate like several laws.” signs pops up behind Leim He is 12 years old!.

“I just know he been acting weird. We are trying to get him in to rehab but I don’t think its taking hold. “
two men in white coats on walk in behind Leim with butterfly nets.

”He back there guys just try to keep it down when you grab him.” Leim points off stage again. “You guys don’t be scared of using the stun gun!”

“Well that’s all for now folk! If you have about Awakening just pm my creator and we will try to make something funny out of it!” Leim waves goodbye as shouts of he a menace and the voice will get Leim come from back stage.

OoC okay anyone want to make a funny? Give it a try and do send PMs with questions to me.. Will answer them.

[Elliot Kane]

Had to change the icon as it went weird. I haven't modified anything in the post itself.

[Will (Property of Silva)]

Stelrein walks out with a torn butterfly net around his neck. He is holding a beer.

Saying to Leim, "Why the hell am I getting letters and emails asking about stalking little boys?"

He shakes his head, and looks out at the audience, "For the record I don't like little boys and I wasn't stalking him." He points to Leim in the chair. "And for those of you idiots who still think I was stalking," gives the finger, then adds, "If anyone I'd be stalking Ash."

Stel turns back to Leim, "Dude two can play at this game," he walks off. From a distance you can hear, "I'm gonna pee in your hot tub."

[Shan]

Ash comes running on stage waving a fist full of fan letters. "Leim,
Leim looks what I just found in my mailbox," she calls excitedly. "More fan letters. Can you believe it, me getting so many fan letters? Bet I got more than you," she say grinning at him.

She stops suddenly noticing where she is. "Oops, sorry. I didn't
know the show had alread started." Ash looks around the stage, walks up to the front edge, raises her hand trying to cut the brightness from the stage lights a little and peers out into the audience. "Doesn't look like much of a crowd tonight. Well, we'll just have to do something about that. Packed houses are good for moral. Plus they don't know all the fun they are missing. This show is gonna be a riot." She then walks to the left side of the stage looks behind the curtain and then does the same on the right side. "Where is it? she mumbles.

Walking to the middle of the back curtain she lays down on her stomach, raises the curtain and sticks her head under it. "Rats," she yells. "Uh,no, no, no," she says waving an arm at Leim. "No need to get excited. Just an expression. No live rats." She pulls her head out rolls over on her back, sits up and a little exasperated she says "Didn't anybody bring the furniture in. I need a stool. "Standing up she yells "Would somebody please bring me a stool."

When Homm comes dragging a stool in, Ash looks at him, smiles and says "Thanks, Homm. I see you found something to do to make yourself useful instead of just going around trying to cast detect magic on everything. Put it over there next to Leim."

Ash climbs up on the stool and sits down. She looks down at Leim, looks at the audience, grins and says "Great position to whack him one, isn't it? Anybody got a pillow?" She laughs as she says "Just kidding." She looks around trying to see if there is one handy though.

"Hey, anybody want to hear one of my fan letters?" she asks with a
smile. "Yeah, I knew you would. I bet you can hardly wait. OK, here
goes."

"I got one here from Liza Dingle from Tuscon. She writes:

"Dear Ash

"You are so cool. I love the interaction between you and Leim. The
two of you rock.

Could you tell me why you are always chasing after Rasidar?

Love Liza"

First Liza, you need to be careful saying stuff like that about Leim.
He has the habit of letting things go to his head, and we sure don't
want him getting a big head. He's hard enough to handle righ now.

As for chasing after Mr. Knight, I don't have much choice. I've got to try to protect him from Lor. You see he is a big dullard and doesn't understand what is going on. If you will notice though, her big plays are always in front of him so she can be sure to get his attention. It's really a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it."

Hope that helps. Thanks for writing Liza.


Ash pulls another one from the stack, glances at it and says "Oh,
you guys have just got to hear this one. You're going to love it. It's from Jeb Haney who lives in Concord, N.H.

"Dear Ash

Will you please send me an autographed picture of yourself? It
would be so cool if you would. My friends would be so jealous when they found out."

Would you mind telling me why don't you like Mao?

H&K, Jeb"

Ash looks at Leim grins and says "He wants an autographed picture. Did anybody ask you for a picture?"

She smiles her cutest smile and says "Jeb, of course, you can have
an autographed picture. I will see that one gets in the mail to you the first thing tomorrow.

Now for your question:

I think you got the wrong idea about me and Mao though. True she really bugs me when she wants every little detail checked out. Ooooooo, what a hassle. I love her to death though. She is the greatest when it comes to questioning the NPC. She can make our GM really squirm at just the thought of having to answer another one of her questions. He's even had Melissa lose consciousness, faint, just everything to avoid answering Mao's questions. Way to go Mao. Keep up the good work.

Sorry, I just had to get that in. We're all pulling for Mao.

Hope that clears up any misunderstanding Jeb. Thanks for writing.

Yeah, like Leim says "That's it for tonight guys. Hope you had fun and will join us for the next show. Oh and be sure to bring your friends. If you would like to ask a question, please send it to me in care of my creator.

Thanks for joining us. Bye for now.

[Will (Property of Silva)]

Loriana saunters on, a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand, a cigarette in the other. She takes a swig from the bottle then a long puff from the cigarette. She blows out the smoke in a heart shape. She looks at Ash and Leim with a bored expression on her face.

She strolls to where Ash is and takes the microphone from its stand. She wanders away towards the front of the stage. She clears her throat loudly into the microphone, "I just wanna clarify that I ain't chasing after Rasidar. He's a bit too stiff for my tastes, in all the wrong ways, if you know what I mean," she laughs hoarsely and takes another swig from the bottle, "I have much more fun chasing after Big Soldier Guy." she winks and grins devilishly, "Now he's stiff in all the RIGHT ways."

She pulls a crumpled letter from her pocket, "I got too many letters to bother with, but this one caught my eye. It had a detailed drawing of five men doing a rather lewd act on the envelope. I honestly didn't know a man could bend that way, let alone five. And I never thought something like that would get through the mail system, but it does seem to have taken 2 months to get to me and has several post office stamps on it." she unfolds the letter, "Anyway, this here's from Kitty Glover in SF, CA:

Heya Girlfriend!

What's up with running away and acting so scared. Ya gotta grow a set if you ever expect to get that man 'tween your nethers. Stel is sure one hunk of a man, and I wouldn't let him get away. So do me a favor and get him alone sometime soon, and send me pics.

Good luck!

Kitty
XOXO

P.S.

Enclosed is a pic of me and the guys from the envelope. Hope it gives you some ideas."

Loriana grins, "I kept the pic and the envelope safe in my room, in case anyone was wondering. And if you wanna see it, you better have something to show," she winks, "If you know what I mean." she gulps down some more Jack Daniels, "Well, I think I'll take Kitty's advice and get me some man meat. I think I saw Stel heading toward the dressing rooms."

She drops the mic, which makes a loud and painful crackling sound with a hitch pitch whine. She puffs on the cigarette as she saunters off stage.

[janggut]

..... only to have Homm chasing after her, "Oi! you, give me back my dress! i need it for my other show - New Homm!" he runs along after her as he coughs in her cigarette smoke.

then he runs back to the stage & picks up the microphone.

"& now for something completely different!" he throws the microphone at the camera, causing it to crack then falls down on the floor, showing Leim & Ash's legs.

[Will (Property of Silva)]

A new camera is brought in. It shows Ash and Leim still on stage.

From stage right Cedric comes out in a very expensive suit. He is wearing dark sunglasses and his hair pulled back in a fashionable ponytail. He has his arms draped over two beautiful women.

When he gets about half way across the stage he stops and looks at Ash and Leim.

“Hey babes, what are you two doing still here in this dump,” he lowers his glasses a little to see them better. “Oh yeah I forgot, I was the only one who signed on to a multi-player contract.”

He smiles, “You know, those things are like magic. Cha-ching!”

He turns to the two women he is escorting, “You see there ladies,” as he points to Ash. “She’s the one that got mad at me when I told her to slow down.”

The trio goes off stage left laughing.