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Post by peterh on Feb 26, 2006 5:43:05 GMT
I'm drunk and pretty sad. I apologize in advance I went to a party today and luckily Veronica was in Aalborg tonight. So we met downtown and talked for hours. Just like friends do. The problem is that I'm in love with Veronica, and have been for almost 4 years. I've had the chances but blew them away and tonight I had a very good talk with her. Not that it helped - she's in love with a friend of hers. Honestly it sounds childish, but Veronica is the the one girl that's fascinated me for years. I've blown it so many times and still she's just incredible smart and cute. The one that got away - the perfect girl..and she's in love with one of her friends. I tried it all but didnt go anywhere I ended up blowing it again - bad. Like I've done for four years.. What the hell do I have to do to get this perfect girl
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Post by Gray Lensman on Feb 26, 2006 5:48:10 GMT
Ouch! Really sorry that it didn't work out for you, Peter. I'm sure you'll be okay, and the right person is out there somewhere. Things do get better from here, even if it may not always look that way.
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Post by peterh on Feb 26, 2006 5:58:11 GMT
Ouch! Really sorry that it didn't work out for you, Peter. I'm sure you'll be okay, and the right person is out there somewhere. Things do get better from here, even if it may not always look that way. Thanks Steve Of course things will be better. but she's the one I've been in love with for so long...and it hurts. Even more because I've had the chances and blew them.... I'm turning 30 in a year and a half and I'll probably find the one some day. But out of all the women I've known she's still the one I long for...
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Post by peterh on Feb 26, 2006 6:04:39 GMT
Heh, right now some music does help a bit on my total fiasco..
walk on, walk on with hope in your heart..
and you'll never walk alone
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metalliman98
Apprentice
Is this the five o'clock free crack giveaway???
Posts: 195
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Post by metalliman98 on Feb 26, 2006 6:15:59 GMT
I know exactly what you're feeling man, I've been in a very similar situation myself, and it totally sucks. And being such good friends actually compounds the situation, because it makes it very hard to distance yourself from the person as you could with most other romantic pursuits. But sometimes thats what you have to do, and in fact that is what I did. It wasn't the easiest decision, but it was what I had to do to move on with my life. Unrequited feelings are definitely a pain.
I hope everything works out OK in your situation. For what its worth, I think it will. :-)
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Post by Shan on Feb 26, 2006 6:45:05 GMT
I'm sorry Peter. I know nothing that I say can really help at a time like this, but hang in there. Things will get better. Did you ever think that maybe you keep blowing it for a reason? Maybe she isn't the perfect girl for you. Maybe there is someone even more special out there somewhere just waiting for you to come along. Remember we're here for you if you need us. Shan
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Post by peterh on Feb 26, 2006 6:57:19 GMT
I know exactly what you're feeling man, I've been in a very similar situation myself, and it totally sucks. And being such good friends actually compounds the situation, because it makes it very hard to distance yourself from the person as you could with most other romantic pursuits. But sometimes thats what you have to do, and in fact that is what I did. It wasn't the easiest decision, but it was what I had to do to move on with my life. Unrequited feelings are definitely a pain. I hope everything works out OK in your situation. For what its worth, I think it will. :-) ' Thanks Metalliman I was never that good friends with her. After I severly blw it two times I had to work hard to even get to talk to her and gain her confidence....I managed to do it again.. I honestly thought tonight would be the night I'd be with her. Itøs an ambition lost.....too bad. Of course it'll work out. It hurts a lot - I've been dreaming the impossible dream - but I need to sleep on it
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Post by peterh on Feb 26, 2006 7:06:25 GMT
I'm sorry Peter. I know nothing that I say can really help at a time like this, but hang in there. Things will get better. Did you ever think that maybe you keep blowing it for a reason? Maybe she isn't the perfect girl for you. Maybe there is someone even more special out there somewhere just waiting for you to come along. Remember we're here for you if you need us. Shan Hey, Shan. Thanks for the ind words I will get by, no doubt. But it does hurt a lot - and I'll manage. There's no reason why I've blown it except being stupid. Nothing else than that - no underlaying reason. Thanks for the support, Shan. It's nice to know that the Cascade friends like me even though I blew it tonight !
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Post by Elliot Kane on Feb 26, 2006 12:21:57 GMT
Sometimes, people can be friends for years, go through other relationships and not get together because the timing is just wrong for one or both... And then they'll one day find their life changes, and their feelings change - and they get together after all. You still want to travel, Peter, so it's the wrong time for you, anyway, if Veronica is THAT special. Look her up again when you've done your travelling - IF she still fills your thoughts. You might indeed find someone else, as others have said - or the timing may simply be wrong. The future is a mysterious thing - and who knows what it might hold?
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Post by Galadriel on Feb 26, 2006 19:50:55 GMT
Hey guys, don't give up on love! It can still happen for the both of you (Metalliman and Peter) I was in the same kind of situation about 9 years ago, we became friends and allthough we are 2 totally different people, we are now a married couple for almost 9 years now. There is always hope, and in the meantime, you can be the best friend she ever had!
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Post by peterh on Feb 26, 2006 23:46:57 GMT
Thanks for the kind words..
Damn yesterday sucked and so did today. I've had the worst hangover in a very long time - and only myself to blame.
I've been thinking it all through, and I do think I had a chance last night - she was genuinly interested in me. And of course I end up doing something stupid. As a classmate told me - you're funny as hell when drunk - but don't try to score - you end up doing something stupid. Wise words...heh
Anyway - just to cap it all off - she got together with a guy last night - in fact, the guy she has had some affection for. So now she's not single anymore.
I'll live, of course, and maybe it is for the best. It's rather harsh but maybe this is the wake up call to forget about being with her for now. I might get a chance in the future but there's plenty other nice girls out there. Not that it matters because I've decided to give up on women and become a monk ;D
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Post by Shan on Feb 27, 2006 1:26:08 GMT
And if I believe that one, there has got to be a bridge or a desert somewhere that you will try to sell me next. ;D Shan
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Post by janggut on Feb 27, 2006 1:53:35 GMT
@ Pete -> don't put such a burden on yourself nor should u make the girl a thing to win for. what i mean is that u can't expect her to be like an olympic medal or a karaoke contest which if u somehow do something about it, u will win it. at the same time, don't be too hard on yourself just because u can't have her love. u don't fail in this one. maybe she fails to receive what u're offering! think about it: she might miss a world of good when she doesn't reciprocate. don't sell yourself short, Pete. someone out there will see the goodness in u & fall for u. same goes to Metalliman. @ Gal -> yeah u said it, girl! @ Shan -> probably he will sell u some snow. ;D
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Post by LaFille on Feb 27, 2006 3:50:20 GMT
Peter, I'm sorry it ends up with you feeling hurt. But maybe is it better that way too (not that you feel hurt, of course, but that she didn't leave with you while having another one in mind as well). And, it's cruel, but sometimes (often), when a guy is openly in love with a girl for so long , she comes to take him for granted. You seem to put so much pressure on yourself, as if it only depended on you to work or not. Maybe the best you can do if she doesn't want/feel the same love with you, both for you to continue to grow and to get more chances with her, is to do as if you gave up on that love, and build your way in that regard. No matter how you hard you will try to "win" over her feelings today, you will probably only hurt yourself more, if you know that in fact she doesn't want/love you as you'd want her too. Heal for now, and open your eyes on other ones too, if you really search for love; later on (or not so later) you'll discover something greater, be it with her once she'd rediscover you or with another that will suit you better than she ever will.
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Post by Venom65437 on Feb 27, 2006 7:54:52 GMT
Yea Pete, being single sucks. I'm pretty tired of Rosie Palms, and I can't seem to have the one I pine for either.
:::sigh:::
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metalliman98
Apprentice
Is this the five o'clock free crack giveaway???
Posts: 195
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Post by metalliman98 on Feb 27, 2006 8:05:45 GMT
It's just been my experience that once you cross over into the "friend zone", it becomes extremely difficult, if not impossible, to get out of it. Once a friend, always a friend, and nothing else. Which is why I finally resolved to not be friends first with anyone I had a romantic interest in. Either they have a reciprocating interest, or they don't and we leave it at that. None of this, "let's be friends first and then see what happens" because that just complicates things and results in hurt feelings and broken hearts.
Not to say that it isn't possible to be friends with someone first and then develop a more intimate relationship, just that it is much more difficult.
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Post by SilvaShado on Feb 27, 2006 8:08:21 GMT
Hey Pete - Maybe you'll go out and rescue a wonderful girl from a horrible relationship like Will did for me.
Will pipes in - It wasn't easy, Pete. I mean, Sarah stayed dating the guy for a good year and half. In that time there was a lot of crying and hurting and more crying. Needless to say, I lost a lot of weight, Pete. ;D
Sarah and I had been text messaging through out that entire time. And I found that you can get sunburned from sitting too close to a monitor. um... what was I saying... oh yes!
I knew Sarah was the one because one thing was different. She seemed to talk and cry about me as much as I did about her.
I'm not sure if that helps... or makes much sense... But it was just one little thing that made her vastly different from anyone else. And if that's something you share with Veronica, I believe she'll come around. (Her boyfriend will be tired of hearing about you.)
Sarah: hehe... I'd forgotten about the last one... ahem... anyway, I had attachment issues. I was wrapped in a comfort blanket. Even though it was suffocating me, I was used to it. It took Will all his strength and that much time to get me to see what was beyond the blanket.
And he did it as a friend. He wasn't asking me out on dates, trying to woo me. He wanted to help heal me and get me to a better place. If that wasn't with him, he was ready to accept it. But he sure as heck was glad when I did accept him (though it was a very painful process).
Will: Perhaps, Veronica is afraid of her feelings for you Pete. And that makes her look for relationships that aren't so intence, but comfortable. Just something to think about.
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Post by SilvaShado on Feb 27, 2006 8:13:37 GMT
It's just been my experience that once you cross over into the "friend zone", it becomes extremely difficult, if not impossible, to get out of it. Once a friend, always a friend, and nothing else. Which is why I finally resolved to not be friends first with anyone I had a romantic interest in. Either they have a reciprocating interest, or they don't and we leave it at that. None of this, "let's be friends first and then see what happens" because that just complicates things and results in hurt feelings and broken hearts. Not to say that it isn't possible to be friends with someone first and then develop a more intimate relationship, just that it is much more difficult. It may be more difficult, but it's worth it. Friendship is a very strong foundation for love. Will thinks that you're your own dilemma. Metalliman, you are so nice that no one wants to lose you as a friend. But, hey, if you want some sweet loving, just make it a standing rule to get their name in the morning.
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Post by janggut on Feb 27, 2006 9:02:46 GMT
not meaning to throw cold water on this friendship turn to love thing, but i end up not having my best friend to love me back too & she's already married happily, now they have a one-year old boy (i'm sure he's a cutie). so do i croak & die. well i thought i would. but i didn't. was a surprise (no fun going through hell to find that out though) that i'm a heck lot stronger than i thought. still, that best friend of mine is still a friend & we had good talks about how i felt & how she felt & all. for what matters most to me in the end when it comes to our relationship, is her love as a friend, which i hold dearly. whatever it is, Metalliman, as Silva puts it, It may be more difficult, but it's worth it. Friendship is a very strong foundation for love." so what if u don't get the girl in the end? well it's a big deal for sure. (i know the pain, believe me) but u have love (& express it) so much & that's a heck lot better than not. at least u do what u did & not holding back just because your chances get less if u become a friend. @ Pete -> 4 years are nothing. try 10 (like pathetic ol' me). ;D so u see, it's not too bad. so cheer up, live on & move on. so love for all it's worth because u can, not because u might win it.
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BJC
Apprentice
We Own The Night
Posts: 301
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Post by BJC on Feb 27, 2006 13:34:13 GMT
Dang...
Only thing I can say is...things have a way of working out if its meant to be. If it is, all you can have until then is patience.
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