Post by killerzzz on May 14, 2009 19:07:55 GMT
Man, I had two traumatizing events recently.
Not "real" traumatizing, but "me exaggerating" traumatizing.
First, I am now scared to use my bathroom!
Here's why. I was in there, doin' stuff, minding my own business, when suddenly, I see something on the floor. Now, I don't mind bugs. I mess around with mantises, and poke beetles, and even spiders only bother me if they're gonna jump on me and start nom-ing.
But what crawled out of the crack in the wall looked like a damn LEECH. A small one, maybe one cm long, but what the hell, right? Worse, it didn't even move like a leech, but rather like a leech on wheels. It was fast.
So I was like "Yikes! I'mma squish you now, mkay?" and tried to crush it, but it zoomed back into the crack. So now you can imagine me darting my eyes into every corner, especially the crack, for a sign of movement whenever I'm in there, cuz I don't know what the hell that thing was.
My second story is actually a slightly more serious incident... even though it was completely ridiculous.
So I was at a store, buying some w/e, and saw some fruit Mentos. Hadn't had any in a while, so I bought some, and ate them as I drove home. Part-way there, I swallowed too early or something and choked on the juices like you would on water.
Well, I guess I musta been dehydrated, because the juices were thick and I couldn't swallow them down my throat!
Like any stupid panicky person thinking he's just choking like he would on water, I tried swallowing down... bringing more juices into the mess, making it worse. So now, with an effort, I'm breathing like this: "Hrrrrrrn, hrrrrrrrn, hrrrrrn." Not good.
Oh yeah, plus I'm still trying to drive.
So I spit that mofo mentos out into my hand (didn't want to make a mess, right?), tried regulating my barely-made breaths, and figure out how to clear my throat. Coughing and horking and swallowing wouldn't work. So now my hand was all sticky, I'm having a hard time concentrating on the road and, oh yeah, I'm choking to death on freakin Mentos JUICES! I was particularly annoyed by that last fact. ;D
Then I felt that there was a bubble under the crap after all, and had to take a mega-deep-wheezing breath, "HUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN", and force it out. "Huuh-pwaock!" Twice.
So, after catching my breath, I said "fiewf!" and popped the Mentos back into my mouth, licked my hand clean, ate the last two Mentos (orange flavored they were, mmmmm) and went home.
I am NEVER eating Mentos again!
And, uh, those are my stories today. ;D
Killerzzz
Not "real" traumatizing, but "me exaggerating" traumatizing.
First, I am now scared to use my bathroom!
Here's why. I was in there, doin' stuff, minding my own business, when suddenly, I see something on the floor. Now, I don't mind bugs. I mess around with mantises, and poke beetles, and even spiders only bother me if they're gonna jump on me and start nom-ing.
But what crawled out of the crack in the wall looked like a damn LEECH. A small one, maybe one cm long, but what the hell, right? Worse, it didn't even move like a leech, but rather like a leech on wheels. It was fast.
So I was like "Yikes! I'mma squish you now, mkay?" and tried to crush it, but it zoomed back into the crack. So now you can imagine me darting my eyes into every corner, especially the crack, for a sign of movement whenever I'm in there, cuz I don't know what the hell that thing was.
My second story is actually a slightly more serious incident... even though it was completely ridiculous.
So I was at a store, buying some w/e, and saw some fruit Mentos. Hadn't had any in a while, so I bought some, and ate them as I drove home. Part-way there, I swallowed too early or something and choked on the juices like you would on water.
Well, I guess I musta been dehydrated, because the juices were thick and I couldn't swallow them down my throat!
Like any stupid panicky person thinking he's just choking like he would on water, I tried swallowing down... bringing more juices into the mess, making it worse. So now, with an effort, I'm breathing like this: "Hrrrrrrn, hrrrrrrrn, hrrrrrn." Not good.
Oh yeah, plus I'm still trying to drive.
So I spit that mofo mentos out into my hand (didn't want to make a mess, right?), tried regulating my barely-made breaths, and figure out how to clear my throat. Coughing and horking and swallowing wouldn't work. So now my hand was all sticky, I'm having a hard time concentrating on the road and, oh yeah, I'm choking to death on freakin Mentos JUICES! I was particularly annoyed by that last fact. ;D
Then I felt that there was a bubble under the crap after all, and had to take a mega-deep-wheezing breath, "HUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN", and force it out. "Huuh-pwaock!" Twice.
So, after catching my breath, I said "fiewf!" and popped the Mentos back into my mouth, licked my hand clean, ate the last two Mentos (orange flavored they were, mmmmm) and went home.
I am NEVER eating Mentos again!
And, uh, those are my stories today. ;D
Killerzzz
;D
