Post by peterh on Aug 30, 2006 14:29:43 GMT
On the 28th of August 2006 two tapes were found by the English police. These tapes is said to showcase the last life signs ever heard from Elliot Kane. Given my vast resources and political connections I have been able to get a copy of the transcripts – it’s not for the faint of heart. Read on, my friends, and discover some of the truth about the Elliot Kane project.
Elliot: "This is my lover and only friend. My computer! Let’s turn it on"
Inner voice: "Screen look a little blurry, man. Let’s adjust the preferences, okay?"
Elliot: "Got it?"
Inner voice:"No, it won’t work"
Elliot: “But this is my holy grail which I never leave during the weekend. I spend those exploring the internet for a couple of good ‘witches’."
Elliot: "What's happening?"
Inner voice: "Nothing. I don't know why but the internet won’t work, man. Why is it such a problem?"
Elliot: "’Cause I need to check some…stuff."
Inner voice: "Not x-rated stuff, right? I TOLD you you’d get a virus if you looked at those sites."
Elliot: "Looking at it doesn’t ruin anything, because everyone loves this stuff. It’s NOT my fault!"
Elliot: "Oh god! Hurry up. I need to get online! Miss August has a new gallery up"
Inner voice: "I'm trying! The internet won’t start up!
Elliot: “Oh my god!! What the bleep happened to my favourite list of X-rated sites?! Now, what the bleep is that?! No, no, noooooo! The blue screen of death!"
Elliot: "Keeps screaming names of random x-rated sites at dead computer."
Elliot: "I am so, so sorry. For everything that has happened. As my inner voice says it IS my own fault. I lost my computer because of a virus from a porn pop-up. Everything had to be my perverted way. And this is where I've ended up. And it's all because of me that I’m here now. Offline and forced to face the real world. If I could do it over again I’d promise to never watch porn…."
Inner voice: “yeah, right….”
The transcripts end here and I have no idea what happened next. Did Elliot Kane join the human race or did he decide to wither inside his own small castle – we might never know. No matter what I propose a toast in his honor. Let’s raise our glasses for one farewell to Elliot Kane - freak, weirdo and porn lover.
Elliot: "This is my lover and only friend. My computer! Let’s turn it on"
Inner voice: "Screen look a little blurry, man. Let’s adjust the preferences, okay?"
Elliot: "Got it?"
Inner voice:"No, it won’t work"
Elliot: “But this is my holy grail which I never leave during the weekend. I spend those exploring the internet for a couple of good ‘witches’."
Elliot: "What's happening?"
Inner voice: "Nothing. I don't know why but the internet won’t work, man. Why is it such a problem?"
Elliot: "’Cause I need to check some…stuff."
Inner voice: "Not x-rated stuff, right? I TOLD you you’d get a virus if you looked at those sites."
Elliot: "Looking at it doesn’t ruin anything, because everyone loves this stuff. It’s NOT my fault!"
Elliot: "Oh god! Hurry up. I need to get online! Miss August has a new gallery up"
Inner voice: "I'm trying! The internet won’t start up!
Elliot: “Oh my god!! What the bleep happened to my favourite list of X-rated sites?! Now, what the bleep is that?! No, no, noooooo! The blue screen of death!"
Elliot: "Keeps screaming names of random x-rated sites at dead computer."
Elliot: "I am so, so sorry. For everything that has happened. As my inner voice says it IS my own fault. I lost my computer because of a virus from a porn pop-up. Everything had to be my perverted way. And this is where I've ended up. And it's all because of me that I’m here now. Offline and forced to face the real world. If I could do it over again I’d promise to never watch porn…."
Inner voice: “yeah, right….”
The transcripts end here and I have no idea what happened next. Did Elliot Kane join the human race or did he decide to wither inside his own small castle – we might never know. No matter what I propose a toast in his honor. Let’s raise our glasses for one farewell to Elliot Kane - freak, weirdo and porn lover.
;D
