Post by badheroine on Oct 31, 2009 15:39:34 GMT
I found these quotes that had been written by actual medical secretaries working for the NHS....
1) The patients has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
2) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
3) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night.
4) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
5) On the second day the knees was better and on the third day it disappeared.
6) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
7) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
8) Discharge status - Alive, but without my permission.
9) The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
10) The patient was numb from her toes down.
11) She stated that she ad been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
12) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14) The patient was in his usual good state of health until his plane ran out of fuel and crashed.
15) The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
16) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
17) Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
18) While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
19) The skin was moist and dry.
20) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
21) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
22) The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead!!!!
Hope you enjoy these!!!!
1) The patients has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
2) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
3) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night.
4) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
5) On the second day the knees was better and on the third day it disappeared.
6) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
7) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
8) Discharge status - Alive, but without my permission.
9) The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
10) The patient was numb from her toes down.
11) She stated that she ad been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
12) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
14) The patient was in his usual good state of health until his plane ran out of fuel and crashed.
15) The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
16) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
17) Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
18) While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
19) The skin was moist and dry.
20) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
21) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
22) The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead!!!!
Hope you enjoy these!!!!
