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Post by Galadriel on Mar 31, 2007 4:55:26 GMT
Haha, funny one ss
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Post by Ubereil on Mar 31, 2007 10:53:12 GMT
Übereil
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Post by cleglaw on Mar 31, 2007 11:22:17 GMT
What advice was Luke Skywalker given when he wanted to split up from his wife?
May divorce be with you.
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Mea Culpa
Chaosite
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Post by Mea Culpa on Mar 31, 2007 18:18:49 GMT
Good one ;D
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Post by cleglaw on Mar 31, 2007 20:53:36 GMT
Have you heard about the Divorced Barbi Doll?
It comes with all of Ken's things.
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Post by ss on Apr 1, 2007 4:09:36 GMT
Worlds Shortest Fairytale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No!" and she lived happily ever after, went shopping, drank with friends, always had a clean house, didn't cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and never had to put the lid down!
The End ;D
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Mea Culpa
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Post by Mea Culpa on Apr 3, 2007 18:07:13 GMT
Have you heard about the Divorced Barbi Doll? It comes with all of Ken's things. Ken didn't have one
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Post by Galadriel on Apr 3, 2007 18:47:17 GMT
Worlds Shortest Fairytale Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No!" and she lived happily ever after, went shopping, drank with friends, always had a clean house, didn't cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and never had to put the lid down! The End ;D My kind of fairytale ;D
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Post by Ubereil on Apr 13, 2007 13:08:19 GMT
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Mea Culpa
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Post by Mea Culpa on Apr 13, 2007 19:07:42 GMT
Too Good Ube Roflmao
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Mea Culpa
Chaosite
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Posts: 505
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Post by Mea Culpa on Apr 13, 2007 19:09:24 GMT
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You make Love to her again!!!."
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Post by janggut on Apr 14, 2007 8:20:02 GMT
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Post by cleglaw on Apr 15, 2007 0:08:07 GMT
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Post by cleglaw on May 1, 2007 15:30:24 GMT
A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "Wow, this is great," he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"
"Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them." This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, "What else do you do?"
"You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well." The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly. "There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there," he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. "They're girls. " Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning in delightful embrace with the girl rabbits, until, completely knackered, he staggered back over to the guys. "That was fantastic," he panted. "So are you going to live with us then?" one of them asked. "I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't." The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. "Why? We thought you liked it here."
"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette."
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Mea Culpa
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Post by Mea Culpa on May 1, 2007 18:20:45 GMT
*Sympathetic groan*
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Post by janggut on May 2, 2007 4:37:56 GMT
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Post by Galadriel on May 2, 2007 5:49:58 GMT
;D
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Mea Culpa
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Post by Mea Culpa on May 5, 2007 18:34:00 GMT
hmm lemme see what my memory can drag up ... One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route.
As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars are in the driveway, his wonder is cut short by Bob the homeowner coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party last night." The Mailman comments.
Bob in obvious pain replies,"Actually we had it Saturday night,this is the first I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning."
We had a about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for the Christmas Cheer and got a bit wild. Hell we even got so drunk that around midnight we started playing WHO AM I."
The Mailman thinks a moment and says, " How do you play that?"
Bob continues between hung over gasps," Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our privates showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The Mailman laughs and says," Damn I am sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds," your name was guessed four or five times." Boom Boom! ;D
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Mea Culpa
Chaosite
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Post by Mea Culpa on May 5, 2007 18:38:04 GMT
Warning some semi Adult content Click
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Post by ss on May 6, 2007 3:32:29 GMT
Now THAT was really funny... ;D
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