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Post by SilvaShado on Aug 10, 2005 19:45:07 GMT
It's not that marriage is torturous or anything - I get nerves really bad the night before anything big. Before tests or interviews, I never sleep well. I can only imagine that it'll be ten times worse right before the wedding because it's such a huge event.
Eloping is a nice quiet way to get married, it's just I don't like the "not telling you friends and family" part. I think if you decided to get married and just wanted a small ceremony, then go ahead and do it. But I'd still inform those closest to ya. Who knows, they may want to treat ya to dinner or something.
My sister had a small wedding up at Reno - only 20 people. It was very subdued, and very short.
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Post by philster on Aug 10, 2005 22:08:21 GMT
Maybe when you do find the right girl and the two of you decide to get married, you should think about eloping if you don't like crowds.  Shan That's probably in my plans, yes. |
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Post by philster on Aug 10, 2005 22:11:16 GMT
Eloping is a nice quiet way to get married, it's just I don't like the "not telling you friends and family" part. I think if you decided to get married and just wanted a small ceremony, then go ahead and do it. But I'd still inform those closest to ya. Who knows, they may want to treat ya to dinner or something. Exactly what I don't want. I don't want people to make a fuss of it. Not that I'm not against big marriages or anything but for me I feel like I would be more comfortable if it was a kind of "just you and me" thing (referring to me and my eventual bride, if I ever get one...) instead of having to make a mess out of including everybody we're "close to" too and risking hurting the feelings of people we don't invite. Basically for me I think it should be either all or two. So for me, I much much prefer just two. More romantic, anyway. Spend more money into actually having fun together than to have to make it a big event for everybody. I know my parents would understand. But of course that's just my feelings on the entire matter. |
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Post by Shan on Aug 10, 2005 23:51:49 GMT
Phil Let's hope you find a girl who goes along with that idea. If she doesn't then things could get complicated. What if she wants a huge wedding?  ;D Shan |
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Post by philster on Aug 11, 2005 0:04:33 GMT
I'm sure her dad doesn't  |
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Post by Shan on Aug 11, 2005 2:20:23 GMT
Yeah, you are probably right about that. Her dad would probably like your idea. It would save him tons of money. When my dad saw all of the bills, I think he kinda wished we had eloped. ;D Shan |
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Post by philster on Aug 11, 2005 2:26:01 GMT
I never understood that tradition of the bride's family having to buy for everything.
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Post by Shan on Aug 11, 2005 2:33:28 GMT
My dad didn't either. I have no idea where the tradition came from. Wonder if anyone around here knows? Shan |
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Post by philster on Aug 11, 2005 2:38:46 GMT
Oh well, I suppose since the guy DOES have to buy the ring...
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Post by Elliot Kane on Aug 11, 2005 2:43:53 GMT
The Middle Ages, IIRC. Because daughters didn't earn a living (Or in noble and upper middle class families do any work) it was considered that the bridegroom was doing the bride's father a favour by removing a continuous drain on his resources.
I suspect the other - and far more practical - reason was simply that a young and just married couple would likely not have had the money to pay for a wedding, especially as they had to buy houses/lodging, furniture and everything eslse they would need to begin their new lives together.
Don't forget, it would be unnatural for people to hit the age of 21 and be unmarried in those days...
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Post by Shan on Aug 11, 2005 2:48:01 GMT
Yeah, and he better buy a nice one too. No finding one in a box of Cracker Jacks and giving it to her. ;D Shan |
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Post by Shan on Aug 11, 2005 2:52:46 GMT
Good thought, Elliot. That's where all the bridal showers come in now days. You get tons of good stuff for the house that you don't have to go buy. Saves you lots of money. It sure would since alot of them were getting married at 12 and 13 or something like that. If you reached 21 and still weren't married, they probably thought you were a useless cause. Shan |
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Post by Elliot Kane on Aug 11, 2005 3:03:23 GMT
Definitely, Shan. Life was harsh, brutal and short in those days. The lower classes were lucky to live past 30, and the middle and upper classes weren't all that much better off. An unmarried person at 21 was either very weird or a Catholic priest! |
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Post by janggut on Aug 11, 2005 4:26:11 GMT
i hope they didn't like young boys back then, EK.  over here, showers (any full-blown term for it?) are getting popular as well especially among those who live in urban areas. baby showers are the most popular so far though not all practise it. as for gifts, we normally give them on weddings together with money. yes, for asians especially chinese, money gifts (usually in red packets) are given as it is more practical (u will most likely to buy an unsuitable gift or which 30 other people have also given) plus the red packet stands for luck. silva, if u like, i can snail mail u a chinese congrats wedding card (if i can find one as it's normally custom-made). |
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Post by philster on Aug 11, 2005 14:19:45 GMT
By the way Silva, sorry to have talked about my opinions on big marriages in your thread  You seem like you'd be the life of the party anyway - so it fits for ya! ;D |
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Post by Shan on Aug 11, 2005 17:12:41 GMT
Yeah, me too, Sarah. I'm sorry I hijacked your marriage thread too. This is a very special time for you and I am really glad you want to share it with us. I love hearing about all the things that are going on with you guys right now. Wedding are alot of fun. Shan |
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Post by blackcatcomics on Aug 11, 2005 23:46:30 GMT
Hey Sarah,
Let me just say again congratulations and best to you!
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Post by SilvaShado on Aug 12, 2005 1:36:07 GMT
Thanks Greg!
janggut - I would love an authentic chinese congrrats card. I'll PM you my address.
Don't worry Phil and Shan - this thread started so I could talk about my wedding, but it doesn't have to stay that way. ^_^
As far I as I know, Elliot's right on how the tradition started about the bride's family paying for it. It was also customary to offer a dowry as well - to make a "useless" girl more attractive.
And my dad wanted a big wedding. His previous kids failed to give him the opportunity to pay for a wedding. So I get the treat! ^_^ Makes me very happy because I know Will and I would have just gone to the office to get our marriage license if we had to pay for it ourselves!
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Post by SilvaShado on Aug 12, 2005 2:15:39 GMT
Here's some photos! We had out engagement session with the photographer on Monday (Aug 8th) and got the albums and digital negatives today (Au 11)! I didn't expect him to be so fast! We got 3 albums - one for my parents, one for Will's parents and one for us. ;D What you'll see here actually has 2 more photos than what's in the physical albums. I think we took about 50 photos, slimmed it down to 20 and then down to 16, and then he chose which 14 to go into the album. I kinda wish he had put all 20 photos on the CD, but it's all right. We'll get more at the wedding! Let me know what ya'll think! photos.yahoo.com/silva_shado |
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Post by Shan on Aug 12, 2005 2:57:35 GMT
Great pictures Sarah. The photographer did a fantastic job. Thanks for sharing them with us. Shan |
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;D
